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Tweet Attack!

Posted by Rob Mania on


When I first read this, I didn’t believe it. I literally did not believe it. First, I made sure that it was really Donald Trump, and not some parody account that showed up in my feed. Then I checked the date. It was, indeed, from November 8th, 2017. Then I checked my news feed; just a few hours before, I had read that a transgender woman and a Liberian refuge had defeated loudmouth bigots in their respective races. And then, I didn’t believe Trump, but even his number of 304, rather than the 306 he had once claimed, was accurate. He didn’t even say he won the election, he said it was an Electoral College victory, which was also true. (I mean technically it was a solid victory, but not a landslide, he won the important three or four swing states, and had the biggest landslide since Barack Obama, it was no where near Bernie Sanders’ 2012 reelection with a monstrous 71% of Vermonters voting for him. But, that’s another story.)

But, I still didn’t believe it. It has been 294 days, not even one full year, since Trump took office. In that time, I honestly forget these aren’t the midterm elections—it’s not his midterm. That will be a year from now. But in Trump World, every day is a gaff, a scandal, a poorly worded Tweet, an obvious hypocrisy or double standard, it really is too much to keep track of—I can’t even write these fast enough to keep up!

I noticed he said, “congratulations,” not, “thank you,” to the “DEPLORABLES,” many of whom already regret their decision to vote for Trump. He’s hanging on to this past victory, but by now, the word “deplorables” does in fact accurately sum up what Clinton really did say about then-candidate Trump: Half of his voters are a lost cause because they are, as she put it, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic—you name it.” The people who were sold a bill of goods are starting to wise up, and that’s what’s left of Trump’s base—a bunch of assholes.

The Tweet sums up his presidency so far, but the picture tells a thousand words about Trump the person—or at least Trump the businessman. Just look at him with that toothy, goofy grin and the thumbs up. The men and women in that photo remind me the Ghostbusters in their basic cable TV ad, with a Billy Mays thumbs-up for good measure. I can hear them in my head saying, “We’re ready to believe YOU!”

Way to go Deplorables. Fuck all of you.

To the other half, the people who felt that Washington is broken and the only person who could fix it was a deranged billionaire, I say to you: I don’t blame you. But you have to help us make it right. We’re ready to accept your apology.


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