Welcome to Tweet Attack, where I analyze the musings of a man who can’t take the word “real” out of his Twitter name.
If you are reading this, then by now, you already have read all there is to know about Caitlyn Jenner, and George Takei, and how much the military spends on dick pills. I’m not going to be breaking any news. Here is what you have to remember about Trump: He does something crazy to distract from the fact that he’s doing something evil. So, when he does something this crazy, you have to ask, what is he doing that’s evil?
First, I need to establish why the transgender ban is the crazy thing: This is not an executive order or a bill signed into law. He put this information out on Twitter. He did not consult or even notify his high-ranking brass about this. He just put it out there, and there it was. This is like announcing you are calling off a wedding by tweeting about it. And I mean if you didn't talk about it with your fiancé, didn't notify the catering hall, skip calling your mother, just tell every single person involved and the whole rest of the world too, with a tweet. That’s the level of tackiness, the level of preparedness, and even the level of authority that this tweet has.
And HOLY SHIT! Did you know that there nine minutes between This:
That's 9 minutes that The Pentagon didn't know if he was going to start world war three?
That is briefcase full of bees crazy. So if he does something this crazy, what is he covering for that’s so evil? My guess is that it’s to throw us off the scent of a man named Brian Benczkowski, who is Trump’s nomination to lead the Justice Department’s criminal division. It will come as little surprise that he was part of Trump’s transition team. Now brace yourself, it’s going to get dull and dense.
Alfa Bank is the name of a large Russian bank owned by “friends” of Vladimir Putin. Last July, a computer scientist with the pseudonym Tea Leaves was looking for information that would connect Russia to the DNC hack, and it lead him to find a series of emails between an email server registered by the Trump Organization, and Alfa Bank. What was unusual is that there was an entire email server dedicated to what amounted to a small quantity of emails. Tea Leaves and his/her colleagues also found that there was much more activity during important moments in the election campaign.
The F.B.I. joined in the investigation, and their conclusion was that the communications were between a marketing firm named Cendyn, which was working with Trump to promote his business properties. So, like a certain other email server, there was found to be nothing illegal.
So here’s where it gets evil: As part of the background check related to his nomination, Benczkowski has disclosed that he once represented Alfa Bank. So, we have yet another member of Trump’s election and/or transition team with direct or indirect ties to Vladimir Putin.
Now, I have no insider information. I cannot tell you with any kind of authority that Vladimir Putin helped Trump win. But, as Trump knows better than anyone, the facts don’t matter, feelings do, and regardless of what the F.B.I. says, this sure feels wrong. So, Trump does something really crazy so our Instagram feed fills up with rainbows instead of talking about a boring banking scheme.
Thank you to the Rachel Maddow show for giving me much of the information about Benczkowski, and inspiring much of this article.