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Sing-Along with Donald Trump

Posted by Gail Barth on

Get your rhythm on, strap on your guitar, and prepare to sing along with Donald Trump as he honors the many women (and the womanish) in his life in honor of International Women’s Day 2018. The titles and tunes you’ll recognize; the lyrics have been altered to capture the women who are the subjects of each song. So sing along, feel the power of the words, and enjoy. And here’s hoping International Women’s Day was at least as meaningful to you as it was to Mr. Trump.
“Wind Beneath My Wings” (Gary Morris) for Mike Pence
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
To never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, I would insist.
You always walked a step behind.
So I was the one who got the White House
While you are just second in command.
A vacuous face and unknown name,
A pain-stricken smile to hide the shame.
Have you figured out you’re not my hero
You’re everything I don’t want to be, but
I can soar higher with the Christians
With you as the blowhard under me.
Love ’Em and Leave ’Em (KISS) for Trump’s many accusers
My limousine is a-waitin’
And I see you comin’ my way, hey, hey, hey
I’m sittin’ by the window
You have no idea what's coming
I’ll make a reservation
Between the hours of ten and two, how do you do
You’ll have a time to remember
I’ve gotta slick proposition for you
There’s nothing you can ever do
So I lift your dress
I wanna impress
There’s one thing I’ve got to confess
Grope ’em, rape ’em, this never happened
Yell it, scream it, I’ll say you dreamed it, yeah
Yeah, yeah.
“My Girl” (The Temptations) for Kelly Anne Conway
You’ll see sunshine on a cloudy day
When it’s cold outside, you’ll say it feels like May
Well I guess we’d say
What can make you lie this way?
Bullshit (Bullshit, Bullshit)
Talkin’ ’bout Bullshit (Bullshit)
You’ve got so much crap in that blonde head, and
More alternative facts than Flint has lead.
Well I guess we’d say
What can make you lie this way?
Bullshit (Bullshit, Bullshit)
Talkin’ ’bout Bullshit (Bullshit)
Can’t Help Falling in Love (Elvis Presley) for Ivanka
Wise men say only pervs rush in
But I can’t help lusting so bad for you
Some would say
It would be a sin
If I can’t help lusting so bad for you.
Like I’ve said before in an interview
Daughter, so it goes
Someday, it’s me on you
Take my hand, take my small part too
For I can’t help lusting so bad for you

My Ding A Ling (Chuck Berry) For Stormy Daniels
When I was a little orange boy
I always thought girls were just cute little toys
Non persons who’d surely do anything
Even touching my ding a ling
My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want you to play with my ding a ling
My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want you to play with my ding a ling
And now you have betrayed my trust
All because I had to have that bust.
But even though you want to sing
I want you to play with my ding a ling

Crying in the Chapel (Elvis Presley) for Marla Maples
You saw me crying in the chapel
But trust me, they weren’t tears of joy
I’ve known the meaning of contentment
Since I was a little boy.
And it’s not just a simple chapel
Where we came to tie the knot
I prayed the Lord that lightning strike me
Because I’d really rather rot.
I’ve searched and I’ve searched
But I couldn’t find
A way to gain back my peace of mind
So unhappy in the chapel
And it felt just like a tort
As we gathered in the chapel
I knew I’d soon end up in court.

Let’s Hang on to What We’ve Got (Four Seasons) for Melania
There ain’t no good in our goodby-in’.                                    
What will it take to keep you, oh I’m cryin’
Let’s hang on to what we’ve got
Don’t let go girl, you’ll lose a lot
If you leave you’ll leave with nothing
Hang on hang on hang on
To what you’ve got
You say you’re gonna go and call it quits
Wanna take that prenup tear it all to bits
(Guess again) You wish you’d never signed it
(So you’re stuck) But I will stand behind it
That multi carat diamond on your hand
Cost a fortune, baby, so you know it stands
(Really stuck) I’ll need to try and bind ya
You can’t leave me behind ya
Baby (don’t you go) Baby (oh no no)
(think it over and) Stay
Somebody’s Baby (Jackson Browne) for Tiffany Trump
Well, just a look at that girl with confusion showin’ up in her eyes.
She’s got to be somebody’s baby.
She must be somebody’s baby.
All the folks in the family say she’s mine but I let her walk by.
They say she’s got to be somebody’s baby.
Her mother says that she’s my baby
She’s got to be somebody’s baby.
Possibly mine.
I can’t verify if the girl is mine
I’ll admit she’s fine
Yeah, she’s probably somebody’s baby, all right.
I heard her talkin’ with Ivanka when she thought nobody else was around.
She said she’s got to be somebody’s baby; she must be somebody’s baby
It could be worse—she could be Eric, who must wonder much the same every night:
He’s got to be somebody’s baby;
He must be somebody’s baby;
He could be Donald Trump’s, maybe,
Or possibly not.
Won’t Back Down (Tom Petty) For Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Well you won’t back down, no you won’t back down
They can stand you up at the gates of hell
But you won’t back down
Gonna stand your ground, won’t be turned around
And you’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down
Gonna stand your ground and you won’t back down
Hey baby, that just ain’t easy to do
Hey, Sarah, you will stand your ground
And you won’t back down.
Well you have my back, the press ain’t worth jack.
In a fake news world that’s pushin’ me around
You just stand your ground and you don’t back down
Hey baby that just ain’t easy to do
Hey, Sarah, you will stand your ground
With your angry frown
You just double down.


Other commentaries by Gail Barth: 

What is Wrong with America...
Single Issue Voting
Weary Warriors
2018 Stinky Awards
A Call to March for the Soul of the Country
Fire and Fury: Review
Can the Presidency Survive Trump?
Where’s the Outrage?



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