Your Cart

Let Your Asshole Flag Fly

Posted by Rob Mania on


I searched the internet for “Confederate Flag” and “Confederate Flag Memes,” and I found a number of false equivalencies that I think would be a good idea to respond to.

Comparing the Confederate Flag to the Rainbow Flag
The rainbow flag represents the spectrum of gender and sexual preferences. In its current color scheme, each color does not represent a particular identification (i.e., red is gay, orange is lesbian, etc.) the way the stars and stripes represent the fifty states and original thirteen colonies, respectively. The rainbow flag is a symbol of the struggle for equality, while the confederate flag is a symbol of the struggle for inequality. I will further add that advice columnist Dan Savage has been asked about whether there should be a “straight pride day,” and while he doesn’t speak for all homosexuals, obviously, his opinion is that there should be a straight pride day, if there can be a way that it is inclusive, not exclusive. He also points out that Halloween, which in the days before Stonewall was the one day that cross-dressing was acceptable, has become “Hetero-ween,” a celebration of sorts for straight sexuality.

Comparing Displaying the Confederate Flag to Burning the American Flag
As thrilled as I am that you are now coming to the rescue of a flag of the same country you were willing to kill to leave, we liberals never want to ban the private display of confederate flags. You can display the confederate flag in front of your home and we won’t stop you. What we want is to ban the confederate flag in any official capacity: on license plates, in front of court houses, as part of state flags, and so on. I can imagine if a governor wanted a burning flag on license plates, we northern liberals have a problem with that too.

Equating Taking Down Statues of the Founding Fathers with Taking Down Statues of Confederate Generals
Thomas Jefferson believed that, instead of having a monarchy, all men should be judged and rewarded by their actions, not their heritage. This definition of “all men” has been continually expanded since the founding of this nation. It is true that Thomas Jefferson himself owned 200 slaves, (and did not even free them upon his death,) but he desired a constitution that would be rewritten every twenty years to reflect the changes in technology and social standards. Consider this quote from a letter to Samuel Kercheval

[L]aws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths disclosed, and manners and opinions change with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also, and keep pace with the times.

So, while Jefferson could no more envision the end of slavery than the invention of the smartphone, he did recognize that things he did not have the capacity to imagine would happen in the future. This, to bring it back, is in stark contrast to having nostalgia for a war whose only purpose was to stop this enlightenment in its tracks.

Being Offended by Sagging Pants
This is what has you clutching at your pearls and saying “oh may lawd, have mercy on may soo-el!” Underwear? You advocate for the open carry of semi-automatic rifles! Last time I checked, cotton underwear was not a symbol of slavery and oppression. You do not have the right to equate bad manners with a violent attempted revolution. My mother told me to pull up my pants; she never said, “it’s rude to commit genocide.”

Confusing the “Confederate Flag” with the Actual Confederate Flag
The actual confederate flag had three bars and seven stars that represented the seven confederate states, analogous to the traditional American flag. The design you see on the General Lee (the car) is actually the second—no, third—no, it wasn’t actually the CSA flag at all. It was the second design of the Confederate States Navy jack. Oh, and also, the Rebel Flag design was nothing more than a picture in the history books for nearly 100 years, until George “segregation forever” Wallace resurrected it as a symbol for the opposition to the civil rights movement in the late 1950s-1960s. It’s all marketing bullshit, and southern racists ate it up. I’m sure there’s a meme for that.

Leave a comment:

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published