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Missouri Waltz

Posted by Gail Barth on

 Missouri Waltz by Gail Barth

As a citizen of the State of Missouri, I might be able to stomach listening to the Missouri Waltz once again as of yesterday. Governor Eric Greitens, the man with absolutely no political experience (sound familiar, all you Trumpies out there?) whose main claims to fame were being a former navy seal and looking good in fatigues while blowing things up with a bazooka in his campaign ads, resigned in well-deserved disgrace.

No, this was not a liberal conspiracy launched against a God-fearing family values guy. This was, rather, a stinking unpalatable stew cooked up by the now former and still hypocritical governor himself who stands accused of multiple felonies, one involving dark campaign money and misuse of donor lists from the charity he created, and the other resulting from a sex scandal that Governor Family Values got himself involved in when he had an affair with his hairdresser and supposedly took blackmail photos while she was nude, restrained and blindfolded. You know, the sort of activities that make the conservatives blush, and yet, get idiots elected to public office, including the presidency.

Greitens apparently struck a deal today with the circuit attorney to drop the second felony charge involving campaign money in exchange for his resignation. The first charge, dealing with the hairdresser, was previously dropped due to lack of evidence, but not shelved permanently. So Governor Greitens appears at this point to be off the hook. But there is speculation about the legality and propriety of today’s revelation on the second charge. At any rate, facing impeachment proceedings that looked to be imminent, Greitens left office without admitting guilt on any of the charges, while tearing up and crying foul. It is interesting, though, that his voluntary departure occurred just hours after his people were told that certain documents they wanted kept private would have to be turned over to prosecutors.

No matter: However it came about, Greitens is gone, screaming ‘witch hunt’ at the top of his lungs, just as his idol, the orange menace, keeps doing with the Russia investigation. Greitens set his sights on pushing through the heinous so-called Right to Work legislation, which benefits the wealthy business owners while penalizing the workers, over the objections of the majority of Missouri's voters. Greitens, like Trump, had no real platform, clear vision, or plan for actually governing, but he did make this legislation a huge part of his campaign. He was also determined to abolish abortion and made that a mission that he had already taken steps to accomplish. He tampered with Missouri’s Department of Education and, from his campaign days, established how he felt about the status of women by referring to his wife as ‘the mother of my children,’ as if that summed up her identity. Jeez, at least the hairdresser rated a blindfold; poor Mrs. Greitens had to see the humiliation coming her way with total clarity.

So even with all of his nasty government dealings, corruption, and adventures in extracurricular sex with a nude, blindfolded mistress, Greitens still cries ‘witch hunt,’ just as his national counterpart screams the same. Seriously, the accused Salem witches would be very angry about both of these imbeciles throwing that phrase around; it’s a known fact that no one accused of witchery in Salem was actually guilty. But let’s face it: In the cases of Trump and Greitens, the witches just keep piling up, and they’re the real deal. This witch hunt is truly productive. Both men abused, assaulted and degraded women. Both men are guilty of corruption. Both men abuse their power. One may be guilty of collusion, obstruction, and worse. The indictments and confessions in Trump’s increasingly claustrophobic world keep coming, and he can feel Mueller breathing down his neck. And I hope the witches keep coming, for him especially. 

So I can listen to the Missouri Waltz again without feeling totally like crawling under the floorboards. Make no mistake—Missouri still disgraces itself by ignoring the laborers and attempting to deconstruct the unions, refusing to do anything about guns except glorifying them, and treating the likes of Rush Limbaugh like a state treasure. Getting rid of Greitens, however it actually unfolded, is a huge start. Now if I could only listen to America the Beautiful without complete mortification, that would be even more awesome. But for that to happen, another one will have to bite the dust. Trump has spent his entire presidency wallowing in the mud, after all, so biting the dust ought not to be so tough. And he really does need to bite it. Boy, does he ever.

Other commentaries by Gail Barth: 

Dear Donald Trump and Missouri Governor Eric Greitens
Sing-Along with Donald Trump
What is Wrong with America...
Single Issue Voting
Weary Warriors
2018 Stinky Awards
A Call to March for the Soul of the Country
Fire and Fury: Review



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